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  • 错误的教育认知不仅没让孩子赢在起跑线,反而让家长累死在起跑线上

    错误的教育认知不仅没让孩子赢在起跑线,反而让家长累死在起跑线上


    来源:学习力教育中心  文章作者:余建祥

      不要让孩子输在起跑线上几乎成了很多家长的普遍共识,这句话本身并没有什么错误,教育就是需要从小就开始着手的。但是,错误的教育认知就会让这句话成为毒药。前不久,南京一家医院后半夜了一位33位的年轻妈妈,在辅导女儿作业时,因为孩子动作磨蹭,一动怒,导致头部一根大血管分支血管堵塞,诱发中风。去年,也曾有家长辅导孩子做作业心梗住院的新闻。在家长圈流行着一句“不做作业,母慈子孝;一做作业,鸡飞狗跳”的名言,多数家长都为辅导孩子做作业伤透了脑筋。这些天,朋友圈里掀起了一股“提前嫁女娶媳妇儿”的浪潮。不少年轻家长表示,愿意为孩子提供优厚的婚嫁条件,“有房送车配嫁妆”,前提是现在就接走,把孩子的作业都辅导一下。当然,这只是年轻家长们苦中作乐的一种玩笑。造成这种糟糕现状的根本原因,正是因为家长们的错误教育认知。多数家长把辅导孩子做作业的目的看成了孩子不会什么教什么,但这样的结果是孩子永远不能自己解决问题,碰到问题就需要依赖父母或老师。真正的家庭辅导应该是在这个过程中培养起孩子良好的学习习惯和学科思维,让孩子学会独立自主地解决问题,学会做好自我管理。这样,孩子对老师的依赖性就会越来越低,学习会越来越独立自主,学习能力和学习效率也会大幅提升。正所谓“授人以鱼,不如授人以渔”。现实中多数家长习惯了授孩子以“鱼”,而不是授孩子以“渔”。家长们在孩子的教育上更是走一步算一步,缺乏科学的教育前瞻性。

      现实中,大量的教育集中在幼儿期和小学。比如,几乎百分之九十以上的教育敏感期是在幼儿期,诸如孩子阅读理解能力的培养、语言能力的培养、细节敏感期,而孩子的专注力、意志力等的培养,幼儿也是关键期,孩子学习习惯的培养则是幼儿占一部分,小学占一部分。而我们的家长过多地把注意力放到了孩子的知识掌握上,而忽略了上述这些最重要的核心素养的培养。只要这些核心素养培养好,孩子学习知识、技能是很简单的事,根本不需要过多地操心。我们的家长正是把过多的精力专注到了孩子知识、技能的培养上,而忽略了真正决定孩子未来的核心素养的培养,这才是中国教育最大的误区。诚然,知识的掌握会立竿见影,比如孩子背会了一首诗,家长马上能看到结果,很容易让家长把注意点放到这个上面。而孩子核心素养的培养则好比打地基,只有地基打好了,才能在上面盖摩天大厦,否则最多只能盖个茅草棚。所以家长没必要急着盖房子,而应该先把孩子的“地基”打扎实了,才是家长最应该做的事。很多家长只关注地基上的房子,而忽略了地基的建设,这就导致了往上盖房子问题频出。

      孩子是一个独立的个体,并不是依附于父母的,所以家长不可能代替孩子成长,或者天天督促孩子成长,这样只会让教育越来越艰难。所以培养孩子独立自主的学习能力和自我管理能力,才是家长最应该做的,而不是天天督促孩子学习,那样,家长迟早会把自己累死。

      再比如孩子的家庭教育顶层设计,多数家长是忽略掉的。一般来说,孩子5岁之前就会充分展示出其天赋,孩子做自己天赋的事情必然是事半功倍,极易取得成功,并建立起强大的自信心。所以,根据孩子的天赋来做科学的教育顶层设计和规划,是需要每个家长及早做的。现实中,多数家长对孩子的天赋认识不足,甚至把兴趣爱好当成天赋,这都极易导致孩子天赋的湮没。努力可以让一个人变得更优秀,但只有天赋可以让一个人变卓越。我们经常说的每个孩子都是天才,那是建立在发掘孩子的天赋基础之上的,否则孩子极易走向平庸。现实中,能根据孩子的天赋来及早做家庭教育顶层设计的家庭极少,这就必然导致孩子走向平庸。

      所以,科学正确的家庭教育应该是根据孩子的天赋,及早为孩子做好科学的家庭教育顶层设计,让孩子用天赋发展,用天赋学习成长,并在这个过程中培养好孩子的核心素养。家长一旦把这些工作做扎实了,孩子的成长就根本不需要家长费太多心了,孩子能自动自发地健康、快乐地成长。有了这些基石,孩子的学习会非常轻松高效,孩子也会在学习中不断获得自信和动力,这才是家长们正确的家庭教育路径,也是孩子正确的成长路径。家长们只有正确认知教育的科学规律,才能在孩子的教育和成长上举重若轻,变得越来越轻松,越来越为孩子自豪。家长只需做一个孩子的引路人和在旁边为孩子鼓掌的人足矣,何必把自己累成狗,效果还很差。(学习力教育中心 余建祥)


    ·上一篇文章:家长应该怎样提升自己的家庭教育智慧?
    ·下一篇文章:警示:毁掉一个学生最好的六个路径!


    转载请注明转载网址:
    http://www.cnejia.com/news/jia/191191913522429.htm




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